My boyfriend is not the traditional type--that means that trips to "A Touch of Romance" or "Conrev" are totally out of the picture. Hip sex stores are not for him in any case--hence our lovely (and embarrassing) weekly trips to the local CVS for a box of 4 or 6...

(I'd rather him buy that box of 50 at Costco, any day!)

We're probably all of the cashiers' favorite odd couple by now. They know us by first name and don't stare for as long, so I guess nothing will ever top our first trip there...

Ah, we were so young then...

The bastard wouldn't go in without me. He literally dragged me out of the car and pushed me through the sliding doors--with the keys in his hand, it was too late to escape--damn it! Anyway, he practically rushed to the condom section (almost spelled sextion) and looked for the kind he wanted. Every few seconds, he'd look up to make sure I was still in sight. I sort of walked by, glancing here and there at different kinds--Oh boy, Magnums...he wouldn't need those...

We didn't hold hands; we didn't talk about it--we really seemed like two people just waiting to fuck each other. (Hey, hey--3.5 years, thank you very much!) The cashier guy pretended not to notice--didn't glance at the boytoy or me for the most part, but I know he'd seen us earlier--and the store was practically empty, so plenty of staring time.

After boytoy paid for the box, we rushed out--me first, as fast as I could...wait a minute...

It's actually a pretty boring scenario now that I think of it...and it's not the least bit a love story at all...except if I admit that we did it in the car...right after we got 'em...around the corner too...haha. (Sorry--is that TMI? )

Maybe I shouldn't have said all of that...but, ah well...I'll make it up to him by purchasing that 50 pack from Costco later this week.

Ain't I a stinker? ^_^

This one's dedicated to the millions of men who have had to carry their wives' or girlfriends' purses over the years. I know what all of you were wondering while you had to embrace the bag:

"DAMN! This thing's heavy! What's in it--a bowling ball?"

No, but you're close! Women carry their entire lives in their purses, but to make thing simpler, I'll just list a FEW of the hundreds of items that can be found in purses of all shapes and sizes. Enjoy!

(In no particular order...)

1.) Mini Stapler
2.) Mini Box of Staplers
3.) Basic Holepuncher
4.) Band-aids (All sizes/colors)
5.) Neosporin (Yes, the ointment!)
6.) Travel tooth brush
7.) Travel size toothpaste
8.) 3 different bottles of lotion/hand cream/sun block
9.) 5 different kinds of chapstick/lip gloss/lip balm
10.) Bottle of water
11.) Tissue pack
12.) Nail clipper
13.) Nail file
14.) Various bottles of hand sanitizer
(10 different scents for her, and of course, unscented for you)
15.) 15 different pens & multi-color highlighters
16.) Her cell phone
17.) The case you got her that she was supposed to put on her cell phone but never did
18.) Oil absorbing sheets...whatever those are... *shifty eyes*
19.) Make up bag (Empty because everything spilled into the rest of her purse)
20.) The other earring from 25 different pairs
21.) Dollar wallet
22.) Credit card wallet
23.) Check book wallet
24.) Coin purse (Empty )
25.) $50 worth in scattered change (Score!)

And last but not least, her favorite pair of shoes! (See Below)

All kidding aside, #26 really is:
Multiple pictures in multiple sizes of herself, you, children, pets, family, friends, and anything cute that she has seen for the past 10 years!

Yes, all of these items are in there RIGHT NOW! So the next time you have to carry her purse at the mall, just know that you have $50 worth of ice cream money to spend, and if anyone makes you angry, you're armed with a mini stapler and plenty of ammo!


Edit:
From LonerKat - Digital Camera (or two, maybe?)
From ReeserTheShadow - Video Ipod (which, of course, also includes every Ipod in existence, as we know it!)
From trickery19 - Yes, shoes as well...pretty ones!
From XxRainyxMondayxX - Books (The entire Twilight Series, perhaps?)


P.S. If you love it, recommend it?

P.P.S. If you think I missed something VERY important on the list, please feel free to comment!